How to know when your band has made it

There are many ways, of course, to measure your success as an up-and-coming band, but we have thought for a long time that the Dr. Seuss method fits our style! We hereby invite other bands to take the “Green-eggs-and-where-have-you-jammed” test, and to send us your score out of 14. (We also invite you to come up with a better name for this, because that name isn’t very good!)

So, with thanks and apologies to the Doctor:

1 through 3.  Have you played them HERE or THERE? Have you played them EVERYWHERE?

Well, two out of three, I suppose, depending on where you think precisely THERE is.  We’ve certainly not played EVERYWHERE … Yet.

4 and 5.  Have you played them in a house? Have you played them with a mouse?

In a house, certainly. Studio 438 (where we generally practice now) does double as a house, but as far as we know, and as far as the two resident cats can attest, we’ve had no mice in the audience, and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the Carter House in BG also lacks rodents.

6 and 7.  Have you played them in a box? Have you played them with a fox?

Both! Yes! We’re not here to nitpick about prepositions. In early renditions of our cover of the Bill Withers classic “Lean on me”, Anne did stand ON a box, and in the spring of 2014, the GRUBS did play during the morning show ON Toledo’s Fox TV station (you’re sorry you missed it, but it really was awful early).

8.  Would you, could you, in a car?

Yes, but there’s no photographic evidence of this. Early on, when we were actively making learn-to-play-the-uke videos, we piled into Anne’s jeep for a rousing ukulele chorus of “Everybody Loves Saturday Night”.  The audio turned out to be not ready for prime time, though, and so that moment has been allowed to recede into our collective band memory!

9.  In a tree?

No.  But, Sheri is still hoping!

10.  A train! A train! A train! A train!

YES! Twice, actually!  We played at Toledo Train Day in 2014 and 2015, and we still have a good selection of train songs in our repertoire because of this. And although the train remained stationary, we did feel like we were getting somewhere! After all, they did put us IN the passenger car  rather than on the tracks IN FRONT OF the train! (Sometimes, prepositions ARE important!)

11.  In the dark?

No? Yes? I’m not  entirely sure.  In the DIM certainly, but maybe not really dark.

12.  In the rain?

You know how some things get funnier and more interesting as time passes? Yes, we did this in 2013, and at least one of us has unsteady reoccurring dreams of the very large puddle moving inexorably closer to the sound gear as the afternoon progressed. (Note to music promoters: water flows downhill from parking lots!)

13 and 14.  Would you, could you, with a goat? Would you, could you, on a boat?

Nice to know there are still dreams to be dreamed.

Our band score: 8 of 14!

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